The Kuehns: It's 2015!!!!

So, I just realized that I only posted one blog during the year of 2014. I did post more on our adoption blog for Eli, but still...only 1...for Mady's birthday. That is a pretty good indication of how 2014 was for our family, one crazy blur! I have had "write blog post" on my to do list each week for the last 4 months or so. But, each time I start to think about what to write, I get totally overwhelmed. There is so much to say and so much emotion behind much of it, that instead of sitting down to write, I just check out and pick something a little less exhausting on my to do list, like 10 loads of laundry! Ha!   I feel like I should try to sum up all of 2014 in one post, quite a task.  It's been such a mix of highs and lows, good and bad, fun and laughter, hurt and trauma, it's hard to know where to start. I like lists, so maybe I'll do a Top 5 (10 is too much) for 2014. The Top 5 Highs and the Top 5 Lows. I hate it when people only write about the good stuff; it's just not real, so I've got to do both. As a policy, I like to start with the good news first. It makes the bad news not so bad, so let's start with the Top 5 Highs:

Number 1:
On February 10, 2014, Yang Tu Shang became Eli Yang Kuehn, and joined our family forever! That trip to China will never be forgotten by our family...well, maybe Eli because he was only 3 and very traumatized, but still we will help him remember the day he became One More Kuehn.

Number 2:
Vera Kate became a Garrison as she was adopted into Graham and Katie's family just one month after Eli became a part of ours! It is truly a blessing to be in this together. I love how God is knitting our families together and that we both get the honor and privilege of adopting one of His children into our families.

Number 3:
Even though TJ used all of his vacation time to travel to China, we were able to work around long holidays to take a few other fun vacations. Mady and I had a girls trip to Seattle and she got to meet some of my friends from high school and college and their kids and go to a wedding of one of my former Young Life kids. TJ and Trip went on a boys trip to St. Louis where they went to a baseball game and got to catch the Packers while they were in town too. And,  we had two family vacations with extended family, one to Disney World with the Kuehn side and one to Gatlinburg with the Garrison side. Both were just quick getaways, but both were filled with memory making. It really is such a treat to spend time with family, most especially because it means so much to our children. It can still be a little overwhelming for Eli to be taken out of his comfort zone and be around new people, but it is important to us to help him get to know his family and build the kind of special relationships that Trip and Mady already have with them.   Thank you to both sets of grandparents and all the aunts, uncles and cousins that helped make these trips incredibly special!

Number 4:
Another school year and this time all 3 kids were off the school in some way shape or form. Trip is in third grade this year, Mady is in first and Eli goes to preschool 2 half days a week.   Some parts of this new school year, probably should be included in the Lows section, but for the most part, all 3 kids have loved their teachers, classes and time at school. We were warned that third grade would be a BIG adjustment...and it WAS! But, Trip is such a hard worker and so smart, that even though we had a bumpy start, he really has made it a great year and he has grown up so much. And...he got into Enrichment, which he LOVES. We always knew he was creative (those of you who remember the days that every thing could talk to him know what we mean), so he really thrives in this environment where he gets to think out of the box and learn in new, creative ways! And, Mady is doing so well in her class. She LOVES her teacher. I can't tell you how often I get called Mrs. Thompson. :-) And, she is becoming such an amazing reader! And, Eli loves going to school too. He has the same two teachers that Trip and Mady both had when they were 3, so it is so special for us that he is with the same sweet ladies that loved our other kids. He is learning so quickly; it amazes us all the time!

Number 5:
I have to list the month of December as our 5th High. December is a busy time for all of us! And, especially in our family as we celebrate 5 birthdays, and the most important birthday...Jesus! But, this year was even more special, because we got to celebrate it all through Eli's eyes. Seeing Christmas through the eyes of a 3 year old former orphan puts a whole new spin on it all. It really made me appreciate God's gift to us even more than I had before.   He sent Jesus as a sweet, innocent baby to take our sin and reconcile us to himself. We are now adopted by God; we are his chosen children, just like Eli is adopted by us and he is our chosen child...forever! Seeing Eli dressed as an angel singing God's words at his preschool Christmas program, brought me to tears as I thought about how different this December was for him from any others before. And, that in December of 2010, he was brought into this world by some woman I will never know, but that I will forever be grateful to because she gave him life and now I get to share the rest of it with him.

Now, onto the Top 5 Lows:

Number 1:
On February 10, 2014, our lives were forever changed when Eli joined our family. Yes, this is also the same as the Number 1 High. Because it is! Adopting Eli has been the highest high for our family and the lowest low. We have been stretched as a family, as a married couple and as individuals more than ever before. There have been days, that I have cried out to God to please take away the pain that adoption causes. But, there have also been days that I have cried out to God, thank you for changing us all and redeeming us all and making all things new in You!   For much of 2014, I have been in a wrestling match with God. Trying to take back control of my life. Control that I never really had in the first place, I just thought I did. Control that, in reality, I don't even really want to have because I know that He knows so much better than I do and that His plans for me and my family are perfect. But, yet, when I saw the life I knew quickly being taken away from me after Eli joined our family, I fought and fought for that control. It's taken months of wrestling, for me to finally see that the wrestling and fighting were all unnecessary. Because even though it felt like my life was spiraling out of control, it was actually moving into place into God's perfect plans, just the way He knew it needed to be.

Number 2:
The second lowest low came from Eli's first appointment with his urologist, where our biggest fears were confirmed. We knew that children with Eli's medical condition, spina bifida, could have incontinence as a result. So, when we were reviewing Eli's file, we asked the people at the orphanage if he was incontinent. The answer to our question, came not only as a "no", but also included a terrible video of him pooping. I remember thinking that was something I never want to see again, and now I see it daily when I change his diapers. Never say never. So, after we got Eli and were told that he was in fact incontinent and still in diapers, we were hopeful that once we got him home and checked out there would be an easy way to "fix" his problem. Well, at this appointment, we found out it is not something that is fixed. It is not something that can be undone or changed. It is something you learn to manage and it is for a lifetime. It was overwhelming at first, to say the least...to think about a lifetime of catheters and enemas. Two things I never thought I could handle doing. But, I can and I do and so does TJ and so does Eli. We've learned to make quite a medical team and even though Eli doesn't really understand why or like all of these processes and procedures, he is cooperative and let's us poke and prod him to get it done. Of course, nothing seems to be working exactly like its supposed to. I won't get into all the medical details, but basically, Eli still has to wear diapers.   But I know God's got this. And, with time and a little patience we will figure it out and find a way to make it work for Eli.

Number 3:
Well...hmmm...if you asked me before I wrote this post if this past year had more highs or lows, I definitely would have said lows. But, now I can't think of any other BIG lows. There have been lots of little lows. I've been so low some days that I just want to crawl back in bed. I've been so low some days that I have really thought I was wrong, God did not call us to adopt Eli, someone else is better suited for this. I've been so low some days that even my sweet kids pray at night for God to "help mommy have a better day tomorrow." (Nothing like your kids praying for you to make you realize how low you really are.). But, overall, when it comes to the BIG stuff of 2014, its been HIGH! Because even in those low moments on the low days, we were never alone, I was never alone, God was right there beside me. Getting me out of bed, when I couldn't do it, whispering His words of comfort and truth that He did call us to adopt Eli and He was there listening to the hearts of my sweet children and answering their prayers on my behalf. GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME! HE IS ALWAYS THERE! HE IS IN CONTROL! AND HIS PLANS ARE PERFECT!

For Your Viewing Pleasure...a few photos from 2014: